Hey,
I know I hadn't been around lately, and im sorry, but this last month and half were very hard for me. I found out my friend commited suicide. When i found out it was as if ground split under my feet. i coudn't believe it, especially becouse i saw her and talked with her and laughed with her just a few days before. she was full of joy and life, only later i found out it was all lies.
she took all the pills she could find, and brought some in shops, i think she wanted it to be painless, calm, but it wasnt painless for those of us she left behind.
she left letters. i got one too. she explained her reasons, and why she felt it was the only way out. i was angry at her, at myself, and guilty i didnt see anything, that i didnt managed to help her.
in her letter, she said that if i will feel it will help somebody i can tell why she did it.
she was raped. she left her room at student house not locked, becouse her roommate went to town to clubs, and they had only one key. she left it open and she was sleeping and then she wasnt. she was raped, and i was terrified to learn that something like that could happen to one of my firiends, to someone so sweet and joyful.
she didnt go to police, becouse she didnt see his face, she lost counsisnes somewhere in the middle. didnt remember much. but i went. and was left feeling even more angry, becouse the said they cant really do anything now, becouse there is no evidence, but thay will look itno it.
and i was left feeling angry and terrified and guilt.
and im sorrier than you will know, E., taht ou didnt feel like ou could tell me anything, that we will help you get through.
Mina.
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